Will this never end?
Will she ever heal?
She hates herself. I do not know what she see’s when she looks in the mirror. Not the intelligent and beautiful 16 year old girl with Sicilian green eyes, a perfect body (if there is such a thing) with the soul of a survivor, a warrior.
She has taken the escalator to the next floor. The department that holds self deprivation, purging and starvation.
My child won’t eat and when she does, she forces it back up again.
Self mutilation and now starving.
I am numb.
I am lost.
I fear for her life.
I fear for my sanity.
It is a deep, dark whirlpool of madness, in which we tread water… maniacal laughter follows us, seeking blood and vomit.
This is my baby.
I must have failed her. That us not attention seeking or self pity. I must have damaged her along the way.
Goddammit.
Mothering a Cutter 
One response to “The Deep End of Forever”
Please remember dearest one, we choose our parents to reset our own patterns, life lesson. And often one parent sets in the pattern and the other helps us in getting beyond it. It is a holy contract either way.